A game of two halves
February 28, 2007Our usual instructor today got called off onto skiing duties, so the four of us had to be assimilated into other groups. Dave and I went up one group, and Bingo and Osty stayed with a similarly skilled group. The new group was mostly made up of kids; even the instructor was only 18. The first thing we did was jump into a gondola and head to the top of the mountain. No main problem, but the gondola rises about 1 km in altitude. I was now somewhat scared.
When we got to the top, the difference between our heavily-bashed icy nursery slope and the powdery wonder created by 2 solid days of snow became suddenly apparent. All of a sudden, I could turn in both directions, and board really well on both edges. It was going to be A Good Day.
The morning session was pretty much how I expected snowboarding to be – really deep powder, long luxuriant turns, and soft landings. On one occasion, while heading in the direction the board points, the nose got stuck in a drift, thus catapulting me over the top of it. If I had attempted my particular choice of landing – a graceless shoulder-plant on the nursery slope, I would probably stabbed myself in the ear with my collarbone. Instead, I just dug into the powder a bit, got up, dusted myself down, and carried on. Life was good. I also wiped out a 6 year old boy in our group, but that’s not important.
After a lunch trading insults with a 16 year old Dutch girl, we were off for the afternoon. Brimming with confidence from the best morning of the trip, I promptly got my arse handed to me by a T-bar lift. It’s less effort to walk up the sodding hill. The afternoon was more tailored to the advanced boarders, with a lot of steep, narrow red runs. I just went down most of them on my heel edge, as any mised turn would result in the mother of all faceplants at the bottom of a cliff. It was a bit much for a few other group members – I discovered that 14 year-old Dutch girls can still grumble while slipping backward down a mountain at 20 mph – my first ever Doppler moan. Another moment of stark realisation on a T-bar, and we were ready for the final descent of the day. As I was doing up my bindings, the instructor and group all pissed off, leaving me alone at the top of the mountain. A bad tempered-descent followed. When I finally found the group again, the instructor suggested we try something new. My shouted interjection was along the lines of “How about trying not fucking off and leaving me at the top of a mountain, you twat?” By this time, I was pretty shagged, so just edged my way down the rest of the hill, and that was it for the day.
Champagne Tuesday followed – more about that later – but for now, another day of great snow and blue runs follows. Our lessons are over, and now we’ve just got a bit of time to fool around, and work on some languid turns. There’s been another 6-8 inches of snow overnight at base-camp level, so I’m looking forward to seeing what has happened 1 km further uphill. I have every fear that today could end up being rather fun.
On a separate note, Bingo has chickened out and turned ski on us, and Dec thinks he’s broken his arse, in spite of it being padded by both a Norwegian striker* and 26 years of overindulgence. I’ve never wanted to kick anyone right up the arse as much as I do now. I’m down to my last reserves of willpower, which I fear may be eroded tonight at the first whiff of booze.
Peace out, my homies.
*An Aasgaard
Yohimbe brothers!
I am following very nicely your woundrous and happy experience on the snow. We have no snow in my country but many gays. You would be most welcome!!!
I have the courage now to Crave indulgence for
this important business believing that you will never let me down either now or in the future. Some years ago, a British Mining
consultant/ contractor with the Nigeria National
Petroleum Corporation, made a numbered time (fixed)deposit for twelve calendar
months, valued £12M.GBP (TWELVE MILLION BRITISH POUNDS) in an account. On maturity,The
bank sent a routine notification to his forwarding address but got no reply.
After a month, The bank sent another reminder and finally his contract employers, the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation wrote to inform the bank that he died without MAKING A WILL, and all attempts by the British Embassy to
trace his next of kin was fruitless. I
therefore, made further investigation and
discovered that the beneficiary was an immigrant from Jamaica and only recently obtained
British citizenship. He did not decla re any kin or relations in all his official documents, including his Bank deposit paper work. This
money total amount£12M.GBP ( TWELVE MILLION BRITISH POUNDS)is still sitting in my bank as
dormant Account. No one will ever come forward to claim it, and according to Nigerian Banking policy, after some years, the money will revert to the ownership of the igerian Government if the
account owner is certified dead. This is the situation, and my proposal is that I am looking for a foreigner who will stand in as the next of
kin to beneficiary, and OPEN a Bank Account abroad to facilitate the transfer of this money. This is simple, all you have to do is to OPEN
an account anywhere in the world and send me its detail for me to arrange the proper money transfer paperwork, and facilitate the transfer.The money will then be paid into this Account for us to share in the ratio of 60% for me, 35 % for you and 5% for expenses that might
come up during transfer process. There is
no risk at all, and all the paper work for this transaction will be done by me using my position
and connections in the banks in Nigeria. This business transaction is
guaranteed.And the first phase of the transfer will be (£4M.GBP)FOUR MILLION POUNDS as advised by our insider in the bank. If you are interested, please reply immediately through my personal email sending the following details: (1) Your Full Name/Address (2) Your Private elephone/fax Number. Please observe the utmost confidentiality, and be rest assured that this
transaction would be most profitable for both of
us because I shall require your assistance to invest some of my share in your country. I look forward to your
earliest reply.
Yours,
OLu
Good to see nigerian oil scammers don’t discriminate against gays
I’m reporting this post to the authorities for talking about dutch girls and willpower in the same post.
That’s got to be Dom, right?
Not guilty. Wish I’d thought of it