What’s it all about Ted?
February 19, 2007On the 24th of February 2007, four young gentlemen of leisure will embark on a 7 day crash course in snowboarding. Based in and around the Austrian spa town of Bad Gastein, none of them have ever snowboarded before. So without further ado lets introduce the overpaid, under worked miscreants who will make up this motley group.
Ant (aka Mushy) (aka The Dude)
A towering giant amongst the chemical cognoscenti, Ant is well known in society circles as a bit of a dandy. Despite his cheery demeanour, this jolly chap is best described as a misanthropic bastard. When not at his leisure on the Riviera, Ant is to be found happily playing the Eton wall game with the street urchins of Bloomsbury. Whilst snowboarding, we expect the laws of gravity and momentum to exact a heavy toll on the middle-aged Mushy.
Bingo (aka Aggles) (aka Larry the Liberal)
Born of upper middle class stock on the day that Queen Victoria ascended the throne, Florence ‘Bingo’ Aggleton cut his teeth as a subaltern in the Afghan Wars. Following a dishonorable discharge in the best traditions of Flashman, he stood for Parliament in the rotten borough of Bath. Liking nothing better than whiling away a hazy afternoon in one of his Pall Mall clubs, Larry the Liberal will while away most of the upcoming vacation face down in a snow drift.
Dave (aka Ginger)
This globe-trotting, flame-haired lothario is no stranger to danger. With a reputation amongst ladies who lunch that is second to none, this bounding cad ably combined going up to Cambridge with going down on debutantes. Looking as good on the cover of Tatler as he does in real life, Dave will spend the coming week slowly realising that we’re not in Klosters.
Dec (aka Oddball)
Known affectionately amongst his close friends as an arrogant, pretentious little shit, Dec is prone to serious injury from the most mundane of activities. He is as at home amidst the shining towers of the Square Mile as he is while walking his 7,000 acre ancestral seat. Over the course of this expedition, while not running his hand through his right-wing haircut, Dec will mostly be found trying to relocate his left shoulder.
May I be the first of many to say you are a bunch of plonkers. Brave, silly plonkers.
I applaud your willingness to parade your failings on this blog and look forward to daily instalments with pictures of your escapades.
I especially look forward to the first “pin-wheel of death” photos. Always my favourite snowboarding move, even more than the instantaneous face plant.
I fear we may oblige you on that front more than once. I’m told by those in snowboarding circles that the flailing of arms that inevitably precedes a face plant is known as rolling down the windows.